You got me

How can someone just get you and everything you say, only knowing them for a short time. Is it possible or just an illusion...well, it sure as hell cant be an illusion because she can see the illusion right along with you, along with your ideas while you think them, and lightly press her lips against yours before another word is said. A mutual understanding founded on some special type of emotion that only two can understand...how rare, or how rare? It blows my mind completely, but I believe in this messed up world, unrealistic things can exist and transform themselves into the norm, with the approval of society or not. Fuck, forget the rest of the world...why let them ruin a perfectly good thing with their opinionated attacks and arrogant analyzations.
When you open yourself up to someone, you really don't realize just how vulnerable you are...but when it so happens that they take that gift and place it in their heart, you have found a perfectly beautiful thing, including the girl and the personality to go with it!

Hey batter, batter

It's amazing how things have changed for the better. Life truly throws some curveballs at your nuts, but once you endure the anguish, you get better at it and you can catch them and spin them right back at the pitcher...though I would never really wanna throw a curve ball back at God's nuts.
So lemme start out with our first official date, then ill get to before the first date. I had never been to Quizno's, and apparently Emily is mad about it. So naturally, I'm going to take her there for the experience. So we went there first off. Good good subs. And she is crazy about Honey Mustard sauce. lol. My type of girl...especially since she eats like a guy. Major turn on...moreso because she isn't afraid to hide it around me. Then, after talking for about an hour afterwards, we walked hand in hand around our big shopping plaza Waterford until it was time to go to see Shall We Dance. The whole time in the movie, we were on each other...Well, we took a break from the movie to steal a couple of kisses from each other every so often. It was sweet. Then after the movie, we stayed in the theater until everyone left still kissing. The cleaning guys finally came in, and we decided to lock lips for a little bit longer. Then we picked up shop, walked out, kindly apologizing for taking up their precious sweeping time, and took off to get some ice cream. It's amazing what a connection we have. We both have similar outlooks on life, similar odd tastes and pure indecisiveness. On that, we went to marble slab to get some low fat yogurt (because she is a low fat junkie and caffeine free as well...though bubbly and caffeinated as she is!) It was better than we both thought...that includes the experience. We sat and I put ice cream on her nose so i could lick it off. lol. But i put it on mine too just to make her feel better. Then we went shopping, two places, and headed for her apartment by 7...then we spent the rest of the night talking, kissing and surviving off of temptation until my stupid ass curfew of 2. That blows donkeys.
Ok, i just got extremely lazy, so ill save the other details for later cause im tired and my friends showed up to the student union. To sum it up for ya, she is amazing in every possible way...makes me feel free from all of the crap that exists in the world. She is fun, a breath of blond freshness...lol.
Thank you God!

Onto the show

Life is beautiful...absolutely beautiful. Full of passion, excitement, and connections beyond comparison. Me and Emily hit it off and now we are together. And how wonderful it feels. We connected in such a perfect way, it is almost as if we have known each other for years. But that doesn't matter...because I am happy. I'll explain the rest later because I have been at a loss for words to describe this indescribable feeling for the past 3 days. But wow...rather, damn!
Onto UCF to see Larry the Cable Guy...I wish Emily was able to go with me. She is working now...oh, well. We'll be able to do so much more other days...if it lasts...
*knock on wood*

Emily

Today was an ok day...a strange one tho.
First, I woke up then went back to bed apparently without realizing it, so I woke up at 710 when I should have left by 700 to get to class, so i just agreed with my body and went right back to sleep until 810. So I overslept obviously. Went to school, wooohooo. Though at school I felt void of feeling in my hand.
It was a nice cool day today, I wore my "Spanky's nice rack" long sleeved and long pants as always. I was thinking about Emily all day, because I have been talking to her alot after work, staying late to close and just talking to her about everything and anything. It's weird how that works, when you don't usually know what to talk about, but it just comes out and flows perfectly to learn a bunch about the person you are talking to. I enjoyed every moment of it...what a chick with a personality. SO, back to the walking and thinking thing, I just couldn't stop thinking about her, about how much I wanted to be with her, to talk to her, get to know her. When I walk, I usually let my arms hang freely. But it was chili, so I ran inside and got a bowl...lol (ever heard that joke)...ok, seriously, it was a bad tit nipply, so I put the left hand in my pocket, still maintaining my cool walk for others to observe while my right hand hung almost still. It kinda felt like my hand was empty, but full with the thought of her. Kinda like her fingers were interlacing with mine...it felt good in the moment. Then it made me want it for real, so it kinda made me feel lonely again. But for that moment, I felt as if I wasn't alone.
Then I did the same careless thing when I got back from school. I set my alarm for 320 and got up, reset it and went back to sleep without realizing it until I woke up at 400 (when I was sposed to be at work) and my grandmother reminded me on the telephone. Thanks to her, I woke up. But twice in the same day, that's odd...I must be getting really sick and thats why I am sleepy. My friend Allen and Ashley both have some sort of sickness and I hung out with them both last week for however brief of a time. Or maybe I stayed after work for too late...oh well it was worth it.
Then I came home, and to my delight she wrote me a message. We don't usually see each other until the weekend when we both work a majority of the time. So if anything, and hopefully eventually, we would have to talk to each other and make plans to meet. I think we have a weird connection, but I like it. It's almost too perfect...oh, well, knock on wood if i am going to say that. I don't want my luck to run out with this girl. She likes me for me, and vice versa with her. I can't describe her in words...just plain cool I guess. She must have blown in with the beautiful weather we are having in FL. Cool, breezy and a breath of fresh air...but sunny enough to keep you toasty inside.

Believe me!

Why is it that when you love someone, they never believe you? It seems like they always question it and dont just have that blind faith that love gives you. I've loved the same girl for almost 7 years now...not a type of love that leads to marriage and happily ever after, i'm too young for that yet. But a love filled with appreciation, sacrifice, care, and experience. And no matter what I ever did, whether crying, fighting with myself, struggling, devoting all of my time to this one person, she never realized that I cared so deeply about her that all of the bitching, fighting, selfishness and jealousy did not fit into that heartfelt relationship. So I broke it off with her a while ago. But it never really broke off. All it was was a friendship secure in experimenting with emotion and sex. Nothing more, nothing less. Ok, maybe more because I was always there for her. She always felt like I never loved her as much as she did. And that insecurity is what ultimately leads to my unhapiness. She is my best friend and she doesn't understand why I am unhappy. All the confusion she brings asking me about what went wrong, how we can fix it, why I am being mean to her: And for almost a year now I have been telling her what is wrong, what she can do to fix it and that I have to be mean to her because she constantly asks me the same shit over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. It's like a nightmare to look forward to every night when you go to sleep...although I hardly get enough sleep anymore because I stay up every so often to listen to her and talk to her about what is wrong and why we should see other people. She just doesnt get it. I love her, but she cares about only what she wants. She says she wants me to be happy, but I am not. I'm miserable, she doesnt get her way and that makes her miserable. Why do women have to have it their way or the highway? I dont believe in that BULLSHIT. Does their not exist equality? All she should have ever worried about is making me happy and I would have done the same for her...but once she tips that balance more in favor of her wants and desires by wanting more time (which are way too much, more than anything she deserves for all the shit she has put me through) she ruins it for the both of us, and I have to start caring about what makes me happy, otherwise I become the loser, the miserable one. What more can she ask for for god sakes, I spend almost every day with her after school and during holidays when really i should be with my family. I mean, what a selfish bitch to ask for so much when I ask for so little. How unintelligent can you be when the answer is right in front of you yet you can't see it? She has blinded herself from the truth and now thinks that she can talk it out with me. Uh, duh, like, I've been trying that for the past bazillion years. She never wants to get to the root of a problem, always wants to just blow it off. Well, sorry babe, that doesn't work. You only build upon a problem when you leave it be...because you never devise a solution to that problem if it should ever arise again...and then it becomes a tremendous problem. I can't ever do anything without her making me feel bad and moreso like shit if it is with my other friends or when I make new friends. So am I bound to her punishment for eternity without other friends to be happy with? And yeah, on top of that, she is sooo boring...she gets mad at me when I am being my crazy fun outspoken self and when I want to enjoy every godforsaken moment on this hell hole I like to call the present day world. Life is too horrible to be pointing out the bad things in life. Always make the best of what you have...and if you have tried everything possible to do that, just give up on HER. Move on, there are too many good things in life to just be focusing on the negative aspects. And there is always something good to be thankful for in life. I'm glad that life goes on!