Listen up Chicks!

Just an interesting tidbit that one of my friends had sent to me in contrary to the rules of life that women seem to always give guys, being that women apparently deserve all and everything and expect it their way or the highway. Not saying that a lady should be treated accordingly, as a beautiful prize to cherish throughout the years, but when a woman has a nice guy, the chick should be quick to realize that an equality should be established so that each member of the relationship is that much more happy and everyone gets what they want. And thus a beautiful relationship blossoms...
All things women should know and APPLY (all are listed as #1 because of their equal importance to the male member in the relationship)
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do ityourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
1. You have enough clothes
1. You are not FAT!!! Fat is an extreme word. And if you are truly large, then apparently we are with you for a reason other than the physical aspect. We love you for who you are, not how plump you think you are or how sexy and voluptuous (most of the time).
1. Fat to us is Obese, so use the term lightly on yourself.
1. You have too many shoes
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

The 350 Z provision

So where do I stand right now in my life? A mile away from a pile of poop high atop a mountain of glorious self sufficiency and utter contentment with my wonderful life...all I need is a 350 z!

It's funny how I always seem to want more and more when I already have everything I have ever wanted, or at least an idea and a plan to attain it. But it reveals a bunch about my desires and what I already have. If a fast car is all I can think to want, then I find true happiness already in the life I lead with a great girlfriend, a decent flexible job, a track for college, and a family that always cares no matter what! And I know that even if I don't get that furious velocity controlled at the tips of my lead toes, I believe life will still go on, and that I will eventually see the error of my wants. But by having such high standards for my life by always wanting something bigger and better, it can only single out true love by stopping it in its path and questioning its capabilities to take on such a challenge of growth and high standing. If it cannot keep up with the desires that we as humans are constantly heightening in order to find a larger sense of hapiness, then there must not be a true love. Some do not look for higher variations of love, rather, just settle with what they think love is, and are thus blinded. But it is normal to expect that special loved one of yours to exceed or meet all of the criterion for a true love...because they love you so much as to always think of you first above themselves or their wants and make sure your smile is the source of their satisfaction in life. And not even a 350 z can compare when those levels are met with an embracing welcome filled with surprises and expected hapiness.