Flying High

My trip to Pennsylvania seemed overrated and useless when I took off the week at work. What a big pain to have to sacrifice my normal life in Orlando for my adventurous grandmother who loves to visit family in Pennsylvania. Well, God sure got me on this one, letting me think that everything would be boring and that I wouldn’t experience a great deal of growing up. I sure was misled. I learned so much, experienced more than I could have imagined in one week. And this all occurred just after I found a new love in my life. I wonder what took so long or what happened in order for this plethora of goodness to just all of a sudden catch up to me and smother me with happiness?
Number one: I saw snow for the first time. And how the irony played itself out arrive at such an experience. The main purpose of this Pennsylvania journey consisting of a seventeen hour drive through most of the eastern coastal states was to see my cousin Netty. It was her 40th birthday and she deserved the best surprise party a miracle woman could get. I say that because she is fighting a hard battle with cancer and she is the most optimistic, fun loving cousin I could ever ask for. She has two beautiful daughters, one which I got to know a lot better as being my 16 year old cousin Jaime and her sister Kristy. She has everything to live for in life and not once did she deny that and feel as if she should give up and no longer deal with the struggle of being a loving mother, wife, cousin, sister, and inspiration to us all. Oh, yeah, the snow; forgot about that. So, we traveled up to Pittsburg from the hell hole of Reading where we were staying with my crazy great aunt and uncle. We arrived at a hotel and later attended the party. When my cousin Netty walked in, her face lit up in astonishment. She had presents, I’m sure, but the biggest gift was having her entire family there, especially her aunt Caroline from Florida. My grandmother put the biggest smile on her face. And at that moment when the two embraced, the first snow of the season let loose with white snow flurries. How perfect and beautiful of a thing to take part in as a first for my experience with the snow?
Number two: I already mentioned briefly my cousin Jaime. Well, I had spent the whole trip to Pittsburg and back with another 16 year old girl cousin of mine by the name of Ana Rose (just Ana really). The three of us all together formed the group of teenagers who knew how to have fun. I just didn’t realize at the time that I would get drunk off of that excitement, literally. I opted to spend the night at Netty’s house with my two chick cousins after the after-party at her house. We talked a bit, shot some shit (as my great uncle Tom would repeat consistently throughout my whole visit at their house, ugh), and stayed up till 12 when Jaime’s mom finally went to bed. Ana and I were just about to crash when Jaime suggested that we stay up. Hey, why not? It’s only every so often that I get to see my cousins, and I was really getting to know them this time. I enjoyed their company and high school drama stories, needless to say. So, I called my girl Emily and talked to her a bit, and meanwhile my girls were already on their way to getting drunk. It wasn’t awkward at all, because my friends all did stuff relating to altering one’s consciousness in some way and I was just accustomed to seeing it and not doing it. Well, I felt gutsy and figured I’d take a swig of some of this Smirnoff tasting stuff just because my cousins were having fun. I’d eventually get drunk one day because my girlfriend does it and I respect her, so it must not be bad. So about half a bottle of wine (1/4 of a peach-tasting wine and ¼ of a red wine), three look-alike malt liquor beers, and three tingly shots of Bacardi later, I had outdrank and outdrunk my cousins, and I was “faded”. Laughing, talking about our feelings of life, trying to walk a straight line, and being close together on each other’s shoulders, I couldn’t help but enjoy every twisted, spinning second. I’m a good drunk by the way: I am completely aware of what’s going on around me and I can talk while still making sense, but I just can’t drunk dial. Ana did that for me, and I called Emily because she wanted to hear me drunk. Gotta love that girl! But all good feelings come to an abrupt stop or some type of bump in the road: It just so happened that the bump in my stomach wanted to come up. Barely straight up, I stumbled to the porcelain part of the evening and threw up what I had wanted to keep down. And then I did it again after I stupidly ate bread. That was the stupid part in me from being drunk: listening to my dad’s suggestion to eat bread when you are drunk. Or maybe I was too wasted to realize that he meant it for the next morning. Oh, well, I got drunk, I loved it, and want to do it more often. It is truly a social thing to do with great company of friends and loved ones. Now I just gotta move out so I don’t have to start drinking at noon to get home competent.
Number three: As I look thirty six thousand miles below me, all I can see is visions of Christmas and a sea of clouds. It kind of reminds me of when I had taken a cruise on the blue waters of the Bahamas, especially at night when the sea shone by the light of the moon; same effect on the clouds when they scour over the city. Odd that there is a parallel amongst travel on sea to that in the air; even the bumpy ride is the same. Spots of electricity illuminate the ground filled with lively city-life and sleeping households. It’s funny how most of the electricity is concentrated in the more populated areas of the world, as if each heart generates that power and glows brightly for everyone to map out when they see the world (or portions of it) as a whole beautiful creation. And although the sights are quite charming, I connect the dots of light to my beautiful Emily in Tampa, waiting for me to get off of this plane ride in the clouds and come back to earth to travel right back into the clouds with her. She drives me to do crazy things that I would not normally do unless I had reason in my life. She is the reason. I trust her already so wholeheartedly, and I’ve only known the girl for more than a month. Strange, or just meant to be? Time is already decided for us, yet it will still be the way to tell. I’m on my first ever plane ride and really if I didn’t have to get back to her, I’d be waiting in Reading with my grandmother, her sister and her brother-in-law for her car to be fixed. This is because on Monday night of our Thursday-to-Thursday planned vacation she got hit by some idiot driver or she pulled out in front of someone trying to make their way home safely. Which of the two it is, I couldn’t tell you because I was not with her (even though I was originally supposed to drive…freaky!). But she was ok (Thank you God) and her car was barely damaged, but is un-driveable until the careless insurance people pick up the pace and actually give a shit about someone who needs to get home before Christmas to be with her family. But I got out of there because all I could think of, hope for, dream of, and ponder was the next time I would see my beautiful girlfriend. Tonight when I get off of this experimental trip, she will be waiting for me past the terminal with her eyes all aglow, her hair freshly cut, a bright-shining smile to accompany, her fragrance flowing towards my olfactory glands, and her lengthy arms wide open. I get to sleep with her tonight for the second time as well and it seems that my mother is ok with that. Should that be Number four? And tomorrow we are going to meet her family in the quickest way possible and walk (as well as drive) down the Memory Lane that was built specifically for her in Brandon within Tampa where I’m going now. I do not even care that I am blowing off work on Friday for her and probably not go home till Saturday morning (which my parents don’t know yet…whoops). Love is more important than anything that can give you money, ever! Plus, Emily will pay me with kisses. I could use that for a longer period of time, because money just burns away in your pocket, or just helps you find those kisses easier and under more thrilling circumstances. I couldn’t be any higher than I am now in my life. This plane doesn’t even reach the heights to which I have exceeded 50 million times over. I crave craziness! I love love!

Letter to Kristina

Dear Kristy,
Ok, so I already told you about the first night Emily and I were together. What an amazing connection! Oh, I wish words could express exactly just what happened. It was like the planets aligned and the moon was full and something in us just wanted to reach out and attach to each other. Hence our lips connected and our hearts began to beat as one, so it seemed. And I had never ever spent the night with a girl so that made it all the more extraordinary. I’m one for experience, so long as it is fun. Experiences can either be bad or good for me and I usually don’t regret them, because you learn so much from them. This one was beyond reality. It seemed like a dream almost…or maybe it was her lime green and sky blue colored light bulbs above us, but either way, my eyes were open. It seemed like everything was changing for the better. And it did. I have never been this happy in my whole entire life I guess. At least, I can’t remember a time when I was absolutely speechless with my emotions yet the person that I felt for could understand each and every palpitation of my heart. Let me describe her for you since I already told you that she is a tall blondie…lol. Natural blonde too…like real blonde…you get it right? So, besides beautiful looks befitting to her personality, she has the best free-spirited, live-to-love life attitude just like me…well, except for that I have a stupid 2 o clock curfew that I voluntarily follow. She loves to talk about everything and anything, she loves her Honda (huge turn on…she has a system for god sakes…lol), and she has a heart. It’s hard to find a girl with a heart it seems…one who can feel something and actually know what it means. There are way too many ways to feel something and some people just grab out into open air to find a feeling without knowing truly what they are saying or doing. It helps that we both were in serious relationships before this one, on top of the fact that we both played the sane roles of the two. There again plays out the whole experience concept. She really sees me for who I am. I told you how everyone thought I was this big sex freak and all I could think about was getting some or hitting on the girls. Well, even though I am a flirty guy, she saw past that and found out who I really was: just a guy looking for the right person to connect with. And it’s funny, every girl at work I would make up this elaborate story that would ultimately lead to the girl leaving her arrogant stuck up attitude behind in order to fall in love with me, or something stupid like that. But I guess you just have to let things happen, let life hit you like it may. Suffer the bad, and indulge with the good, never keeping your eyes off of the things that you have.
I went off on a thought tangent. Sorry, lol. So, after the first night, I just didn’t wanna keep away from her. There was just so more to experience and a lot more to learn about her. I truly learned a lot about her in such a short time too. Its crazy. So day after day, night after night, we spent together when we didn’t have school or work. And the nature of our attraction for one another kept us together even during times when I should have been studying or doing a project. And I thought I would regret it, but really, I didn’t. It isn’t possible to regret something that has 1) already happened and 2) makes you smile constantly. I can remember our next date after the first one when we went to Oviedo mall and I showed her the sights around the marketplace. It was deader than a piece of well-done steak (like that? Lol) all around the place, but we just kept walking and talking, observing and relaxing. We were supposed to be looking for work shirts, but when it actually got to that, I couldn’t even focus enough to realize that the one shirt that I did buy was the wrong one. But I didn’t care a bit…not for a second, because the two of us were cheeeeeeezin, which is her terminology for smiling a lot. I love her words too…everything she has a word for seems to describe it in the utmost detail possible. Cheezin just captures our smiles perfectly. So we went to experience the fine dining of Chili’s, which is her favorite place in the whole world to eat…they have good Honey Mustard which she is an addict to, and cheesy Broccoli and Cheese soup (which they ran out of, but we ended getting some the next time we went…its good). But it was like a normal date, really getting to know each other although we knew so much already. Then my favorite part was when we got back in the car. Kiss, after gentle kiss, after caressing kiss, after absorbed glance, after loving touch, after silky soft kiss. We breathed in and out upon the same breath, taking each other’s away but still able to survive without the surplus of carbon dioxide at our disposal. That was truly a beautiful thing, she is truly a beautiful thing. And the most memorable thing about that experience was the way the moonlight or the street lights across the street (whichever it was, I didn’t care, but it might as well have been the starlight) illuminated her beautiful blue eyes into the intricate pattern of a bright glowing star that shone into my heart and tickled every nerve in my body. I fell quite hard for this girl right away, yet I didn’t want to say it because I was too into falling softly into her kiss. But we felt the same exact thing. Later that night, we retreated back to her place and lay next to each other kissing just as before. After a couple of hours of being all over and into each other, somehow our words met our emotions and the truth came out. I can’t describe it because you probably wouldn’t understand, but it would probably sound something like “This is crazy” or “You make me weak” followed by a large amount of breathing, kissing and such. That night, we connected way past the moon and the stars…we floated way above the clouds and the midnight sky. We were just on the same letter of the same page again. Yet the page would read gibberish to anyone who attempted to interpret it. Shocking, we had only been together for a bit more than two weeks, but we took that electricity and applied it in the most unique way. I hesitate to call it love because it just doesn’t apply the correct definition, but that’s the only word in the human dialect that can get even near it. Love at first glance? Maybe love at first kiss? Love connection? The less you try to explain it, the easier it is to understand I think. It’s just plain crazy!
Every chance I got, she would have me over at 7 in the morning on Tuesdays usually to come and sleep with her until 12 or so and cuddle. How awesome? Then we would go and get something to eat and do something afterwards. And almost every night after work we are together either watching a movie, just chilling or doing something fun…oh, or kissing and other “passionate” things. And I think that’s what ultimately led me to just give into it…because she is so passionate. I can feel her heartbeat close to mine when we kiss, I can see into her soul when we look into each other’s eyes, and it feels way too perfect not to. And we took a shower together in a black light…that was hot! Everything was glowing…not neglecting our smiles. That’s some fun shit…I would recommend that one day, you do that. Now there’s an experience for anyone. She and I think so similarly and so intelligently together. We call each other geeks a lot just by the fact that we are always thinking of…well, geeky stuff I guess.
I hope that this got somewhat close to explaining this girl of mine. It really doesn’t touch the surface as much as I wish it did, but you would have to be me to understand and feel the same things. It exists beyond reason and rationality, and that makes it all the more magnificent.

Josh

A poem from the heart

A kiss is more than a kiss
When eyes are the medium between two souls.
A fluctuation of passion
Electric impulses from the heart
Triggering those caressing and tantalizing lips
Sending me shivers; gives goosebumps
provides protection and begets breath upon bottomless breath.
Opened heart of mystery and amorous excavation
beating upon each connection of thought and feeling.
They do exist beneath and above the surface
Dependent on where line of sight lies,
In what direction your path decides to lead you,
Where your kiss finds its way walking softly.
Neverending smiles reveal all,
Speech becomes unnecessary,
Breathing an option.
Opt not to.
Words don't begin to express
An expression of pure ecstasy.
Can you consider love a drug
Upon which you find addiction and repose
Taking you in to relax or to excite
Blocking off unwanted effects of reality,
Reality, a life filled with bother and lost cause.