What of me

Oh, besides my other post below I forgot...
Random thought: I love my car! I can customize her anyway I want, make her look shiny when she needs to show off, I can make her light up whenever I flip the right switches, shes all different colors, she goes where I want (sometimes) and she takes care of me when I take care of her. Oh, and she has a mean growl to scare other girls away when they get near me. Sure she has a scratch and a ding here and there, but I still take care of her. I can respect her and get equally back without having to ask for it as well. Most importantly, I didn't have to compete to have her, she chose me... Oh, and she knows I dont want her for sex...only pride
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Heh....Isn't life beautiful! Filled with irony, Hungry Hungry Hippos, and eclipses of the heart.
Thanks to Green Lilly..."just one question, you seem to have a lot of girls around all the time that you are infatuated with so why are you still single? You seem to have pretty average standards it shouldnt be that hard for you to find your dream girl. And you seem to be a pretty charming guy from what you say. So why all the trouble with the ladys?"
I ask myself this question every day. But I think that is why I write alot now...because I just don't get it! I write about all of my frustrations and they all seem to deal with women...but it is because alot of my confusion comes from chicks. I don't understand some of them. The girls I meet are either too moody, too elitist (as in im the shit no one can talk to me, unless they are fricken hot), too stuck up, too boring, too obsessive, too caught in their own little world of guy problems that can easily be solved by opening their eyes and looking in front of them, too picky, too insecure, too involved, too beautiful and of course too uninteresting. Alot of girls i know dont know the meaning of fun, or a good time, or aren't willing to take a chance in life. You only live it once...if it won't kill you it is worth a try.
And I let girls know that I am interested in them...like I can think of a few specifically. I tell them just what I find beautiful about them every chance I get so that they know that I pay attention to them on a day to day basis, wanting only to learn more. I always look directly into their eyes when they talk, giving all of my attention. I notice their moods so I can be the first one to make sure that they are ok and if they might need something or someone to talk to. But most of them don't respond or haven't made it obvious enough yet. And some that I find to be the most intriguing usually already have boyfriends...which are usually the big cocky assoles...some of those girls have extreme guy problems and I tell them all the time that some people won't change, and you cant change them.
Is it me, or do girls like knowing that they can change guys? Because I think that any girl who is still struggling with a guy who treats her like shit and uses her, the girl either gets all determined thinking that she can change him into what she wants or is stuck on the thought that maybe she can make him love her. LISTEN UP! Most guys aren't going to budge for a girl unless they are getting any...and even then, it is an illusion. And for god sakes, get a clue...if he says he loves you, and it just so happens that you gave it away to him, uh, can we say DUH! Especially if he is already looking for someone else. For cryin out loud, can you respect yourself after that? Get smart, find someone who loves you for who you are and not what you can give to him. Your heart doesn't lie in but one place..last time I checked at least! I really pray that other girls don't have this same obsession.
Then I've thought, is it me? And it very well could be...because I am outgoing and nice...that scares a lot of girls. They aren't used to a little fun and excitement when it comes to being grateful for every day. No matter what, every day has something good to bring, even though you may not realize it until months later. I may be too forward for some girls when i actually get the nuts to talk to them...because I am shy when I talk to girls. So then I ask "What to do since the stereotypical thing for a guy to do is to be the first one to talk to a girl" yet when that comes about, nothing becomes of it? I think maybe there is the notion that maybe it is too good to be true. Maybe all girls are now thinking in this day where guys really dont care that it is way too good to be true that some spunky average looking kid actually wants to give to a girl whatever she wants, really! I mean, all I want is to have that feeling that some girl likes me for who I am and can see past the goofiness that only longs to have fun and the stupid comments that are accustomed to a guy who people don't really listen too when it comes to serious stuff. I can't be serious around some people, because they take advantage when they know I really care. They only pick me piece by piece however they want me for whatever they want me for...not but once can I remember an instance that a chick took the whole package that I am and actually appreciated me for what I was: my thoughts, my opinions, my advice, my compliments, my courtesy, my manners, my positive attitude. I've realized that compliments are only useful when accepted. They aren't rated on their veracity or how much they come from the heart, rather on who they come from and the appearance plus the acceptance of that person. A dickwad with sex on his mind can tell a girl that she has a nice rack or nice hair, and then I could tell a girl that she is the epitome of beauty, and you know who would win her over...
So why should I pick...I've been saying that alot lately. I usually pick the girls I find personally attractive. It's tiring to choose and to lose.
Why don't girls just pick...let the girls do all the searching. You can go through all of the rejection and the hurt. It sickens me to discover how shallow some people are when your intentions are truly honest and you only care to discover a unique person to care for among the diverse population of idiots and careless, popularity-driven imbecils that pervert society as the gateway to loneliness. But regardless, I know that not every one is like they seem. So I don't give up, I keep trying...and every now and then a new face will pop up and a chance for companionship arises, and if anything friendship is the next best thing. I believe something: that all incredible relationships stem from friendships. It acts as a solid basis for any relationship, and I find it amazing when two people can form both of those bonds. Because if one fails, the other supports it. That's why I am fond of forming a friendship with any girl I meet...because it is when two people become close in friendship, then the true self is revealed, and you can look past that appearance bullshit.
We all put up a front in our society; to be accepted, to be looked at, to be facilitated into our future roles as members of a group of some type, to block others from jumping in, to allow others to be more curious. There are many reason why everyone can't be just a bunch of nice people. Mostly because of the way they were brought up. That's why I shun the neglection of affection within a family. Without love of some type, there would exist no alterior motives for our own existence. When all the money in the world is achieved and the power to go with it, it gets bored quick and you begin to realize that it is just a made up concept. Money; only a word. It can buy hapiness, but only when shared with someone you love. Nothing more to it. In love, you discover something new, and there will always be that something new to find in that special person. You discover a meaning of life, a reason for being, maybe the nature of human behavior, and you marvel in its beauty as a creative design from our maker. You can never go wrong looking for the perfect person...you will fall short everytime. But it is your choice and your loss if you don't try to peel yourself away from the hurt and loneliness you feel now and give someone a chance to give you something you've never had nor experienced.
So to the girls who don't give a shit about my feelings, think that I am just pretending to care, don't want to give me a chance, who suffer from IBS (Idiot Boyfriend Syndrome) and knows that they could have better, or those who haven't yet had a serious relationship and think that I am not everything they are expecting to find in this world filled with imperfection, I am really sorry...but you are missing out!
And to those yet to find hapiness, look under your noses, check in between your seats, and go digging in your closet...you just might find that buried treasure, your lost shiny lucky nickel, or that sweater that always seems to keep you warm when you need it. He's out there, I am out there waiting...still...