Potty heads

Tonight was an interesting night. I had to work as a server, and everything was going fine until all of a sudden i was taking and preparing two orders at the same time. This was because my best friend Ashley came in with her family, which she told me she would. Well, they came at a bad time, but I tried not to let them feel unwanted. So I just ran myself around the restaurant to keep up. Do you ever feel like you are being critiqued even though you might really not be? I felt like that especially since my bestest friend's family came specifically to my job to watch me work and see how i function. I mean, they were there to eat, but they especially like to observe people and comment about their imperfections later with other people or just among themselves until i am ripped apart piece from piece. Well, regardless of that, they left me a nice tip, so that made my profit for the night above average and I had a good night...well, except for something that bothered me.
I dont know if you recall Dawn the take out girl. Well anywho, she is a very cute girl, not drop dead gorgeous or absolutely beautiful, but just my type of pretty, kinda girl next door look to her, kinda chubby, but just perfect for her small petite frame. Newho, if I ever caught her interest, I would love to take her out because she seems to be so depressed in life because she is on her own financially and emotionally I guess as well (as I found out tonight). I just want to hold her tight and kiss her on the forehead, tell her everything is ok and that life doesn't suck as bad as I even can sometimes believe it to be.
So anyways, I had just got done with a table's order, and noticed her a lot less happier than she usually is. Naturally, I went over to see if she was ok. She said that she was just depressed. Me being the one who would love to comfort her, I move towards her and give her a big squeeze of a hug and ask her whats eating her. She says that she is lonely. I tell her I know the feeling, that I am all the time (trying to give a hint or two ya know). Earlier when i had first got on, I commented on how cute she was, how much I liked being around her (I guess she thought I was just saying that, although I do say nice things to her similar to that all the time) and generally that I wish that I didn't feel lonely. Oh, and much to my surprise, she is still a virgin...the big shot hot shit pot smoking girl she makes herself out to be and she is a virgin. I felt left out some how, kinda shitty and used in a sense, as if I wanted her to have been the one to take mine from me and not the way it happened for me...although I dont regret it one bit. So, after she kept saying I need to get laid and I made it known that I had already once before and that I only act nutzo because I like the attention, she kinda acted more comfortable around me yet alienated herself from me. So naturally when later that night she actually stepped aside and let me ask her what the matter was, I felt like she really wanted me to be the solution to her problem. She had watery eyes, but not yet developed enough to roll off of her rosy cheeks and wastefully to the ground. I really feel for the girl...as cold and as clueless as she can be most of the time, I do really. Maybe it is just that "I want to change the world" notion that I have inherited from my mother, but I know that I care about her more than just wanting to say I helped this helpless girl out...thats not what it is about. Ive always wondered what is with this chick, and why she acts like she would have a great time with me, yet when I offer to take her out, she takes me for a fool just proposing an option for the sake of doing so, to carry on the conversation, to make it a joke or to just plain speak so that she can feel as if she listened and move on to her next task. Then later she will think to herself that she did me a favor by listening and she'll ask me to do something for her, even though chances are I have already offered to do it knowing that the nicer I am to her, the more maybe that she will think I have something for her. So, she left and as she was doing so, I tried to say goodbye to her to let her know i acknowledged her exit and kind of wished that she wasn't leaving. USELESS me! I don't know why I bother with her, or any girl completely into themselves...you act as nice as possible, and they just don't get that you are interested in being their reason for hapiness and love, or at least belonging.
I said goodbye to the new server girl Shawna, cute li'l Tampa Bay chick with curly black hair, boxy preppy girl black glasses, and a beautiful smile with eyes to match. I knew she could make me feel better, since she appreciates a guy who doesn't just want her for the tail and maybe wants to talk to her, get to know her, and/or listen to her...When she talked to me about licking my eyeball (don't ask) I could have listened forever if she kept going. There is more to the eye (no pun intended) and to the ear with this chick and she has lots of it just ready to leak out, but I gotta look for the right place to find out more about her. Little by little with this short stack of intimidating beauty and maybe I'll make a new friend that I can have fun with and talk to at work.
Speaking of new friend, monday night after work, I started talking to this girl Emily who goes to UCF and also came from Tampa. We couldn't stop talking! It was great to finally meet a chick that could hold a conversation...I mean, about anything and everything...so I stayed later than i was sposed to after my shift was done...for about another hour and a half to be exact. Walked her out, talked more about her and her past, my past and present, then about our cars and what we have done to them. She was all into my car and talking about cars in general.
Freeze: Why do people smoke pot so much? Dawn does/did it too...I dont know if she still does, but she is a Catholic girl, so i dont know if maybe her beliefs caught up with her. She goes to church on sundays...am I the only one that still goes to church every sunday besides Dawn. That's why I think Dawn and I would have a lot in common. She's not the big shit she acts to be...she does it to be accepted, just like I do...thats why i am so loud and or immature around certain people, because they would probably think I was boring or uninteresting if I just talked about me and my feelings all the time. People like that are annoying if noone wants to hear it...or has nothing to share relating to it. Like the two girls i sit with during breaks...always talking about themselves and their problems, never curious about other people's lives or interests, always waiting for guys to come to them, walk their way. Neways, ...if you want a weed, go out back, pick one and light it. You want a natural high that feels real? Try love sometime, or dating for that matter....it puts you higher than you could ever imagine and you aren't stupid after it is used up...you learn, never lose.
So, I really think this Emily girl will be an awesome friend, even if she does huff da cheeba. She seems somewhat responsible with it and apparently it doesnt affect her social, educational, or professional life. So if she doesn't do it around me, I'm fine..I guess. Is it that bad? she is so much cooler than having to roll one up, so she doesn't have to pretend around me. And she even has a bf and isnt all paranoid about jealousy and shit. She approaches me regardless of her engagements and just wants to meet people. I respect that in a woman...Never afraid to put themselves out there to meet people and experience the world and its diverse personalities for all they are worth.
Really, I hope that Dawn will get a clue...It's obvious that Professor Plum has a thing for Ms. White. Forget banging over the head with lead pipes, I want to get down to whodunit, so I can figure this fked up mystery as to what the hell is going on and who the killer really is...she may not be the killer...is she? And are you willing to lose the entire game just to find out? You might spoil it for the rest of those who are playing in the game, why risk it? The envelope is sealed until you get the balls to check and find out the truth...