Kiss me

Do you ever just feel like you wanna kiss someone. Well today is one of those days. I met a new girl at work tonight named Catherine. Holy begeezus, she is gorgeous. Kind of like take out girl Ashley gorgeous. I hope to get to know her better tomorrow since I work alll fricken day. I'd love to go up to her, tell her how beautiful she is and just go have a nice make out session with her...lol. That would be kind of weird tho, I wouldnt want it to be so forward. I'm not too forward when it comes to beautiful women. Like today, I kept on watching this girl in a green shirt up in the lobby at school. Intellectually beautiful, sophisticated look to her...couldn't keep my eyes off of her. She caught me giving her a glance, so i did my quick smile which is like a grin but with absolutely no teeth at all. It would have meant more to her if i gave her a flash of teeth...that means im really happy and interested in something. But i felt like giving that one, it just didn't come out because I am an idiot i guess...probably because I know i didnt have a chance to begin with. Maybe if i see her again one day, I'll reconsider.
Me and my friend Kristen (not from work) were walking toward class talking about the girl and those not so easy to realize tell tale signs. I wish that girls could make their attraction to you so obvious that you can talk to them and not be afraid of rejection. When i say you i mean me by the way...I like to pretend it isnt my problem i guess. Neways, what ever happened to girls coming up to guys and talking to them? Aren't we living in the new age where chicks are just as responsible and capable as men are. I mean, its obvious that she probably didnt find me attractive anyways, but if there was some type of thought cloud that presented itself just to make it known it might be easier for shyguys and nice guys to ask out girls that they never would imagine doing so to. I personally am shy...and my friends think I am lying when i say that because I would be the first one to hop on top of a table and start dancing and singing (like i did today in the lobby)...but what it is really is to a) have a good time, b) get some certain people's attention and c) to draw certain girl's attention toward me to let them know that I am an easy going guy who likes to have fun, do crazy things in the rain, and open myself up to complete strangers if they want to know me and give me the hour of day for a change. My method hardly works. But I also get to know girls through friendship, where you can test the grounds out first without having to make a commitment. I really dont think of it in that manner, rather it is a way to get to know someone on a small personal level to discover whether they are conceited or not, if they enjoy being happy or being pessimistic, and if they are just overall generally nice females to be around. Because a caring person wins my heart over all the time above all those stuck up hot girls that strut their stuff like they got an itch and the only way to scratch it without looking unlady like is to hope the skin attached to their hip and butt fat (if they are lucky enough to have that ) will fold over and brush up against the problem spot, or their puppy dog-of-an-idiot retarded asshole boyfriend will grab it for them.
Maybe i should go up to every girl I find pretty, tell them im interested, i think they are gorgeous and say have a nice day...give them the hint, let them do the rest. Why waste my time anymore. Yes, i did at one time talk to girls up front, but they are always taken or not interested, so i give up. BTW, I did yell out to the girl in the green shirt, as i have so wittily named her, that she is gorgeous...only it was from the elevator and the doors were shutting so i didnt get to direct it to the greenish nature of her shirt and probably her eyes as well, because usually your eye color reflects the color of shirt you wear. I would have loved to make eye contact with her. Eyes lead to the soul...her soul would have gotten the picture, known i was extremely interested, that I would give anything for a chance to prove myself, dance while in a handstand, jump off the roof...whatever really...
I wish God wouldn't make me soo shy. But I wish he would make girls easier to talk to ...they are so intimidating with their pretty eyes and their tempting lips....they sort of draw you in towards them when they are so close to you, but you just cant launch yourself at a girls luscious lips, can you? Can it really be like the movies? That is, without getting slapped or completely humiliated. It is simply a grade of hubris (wanton arrogance or pride) that leads only to death and parapateia, where you find yourself in the act, and just before your lips touch hers, you realize you are jumping into a death trap, yet you can't turn back now because its too late, and you cant hurt your ego or your pride. Well, I have no ego or pride, hence the shyness. I guess the agreement is between the two pairs of eyes only centimeters away...when they are that close to each other, it is understood that lips can only belong together in pairs, one lip on top of the other, on top of the other under the other, locked in a bear hug of moist and tender compassion.
Eh, ya can't win them all, right?....the problem is I can't seem to win any of them...they have either been won or choose not to participate in the game we call love.