Continuance

The time has gone so fast that I do not even know how long it has been since Emily and I have since parted. I think its been over a month now. But it has not phased me simply because I have not thought about it. It seems that it was the right decision for where I stood. I told my mom today that I was going to propose to Emily in September before the obvious obstruction presented itself. I probably would have too. It was in my heart to do so, to give her the world I had long since promised. But I realize now that where we are both in life is on such different realms that God had to step in and show us both our separate ways. Love is blind. With or without glasses, you can sometimes see only what you want to see and it makes you wonder if there really is a plan for us all (which I do strongly believe, but carry all opinions with an open mind). I believe it was the best decision we ever made together as a couple, even though I wouldn't have admitted it then. I could only see hope and a great future. I don't know what she saw, but it wasn't change. There is truly a reason for everything.

I took a leap of faith and gave up my morning shift on Thursday. Well, Jacqueline did because I gave her the go-ahead to offer it up. Jacky obviously wanted to hang out with me, and I obviously did not mind seeing her one bit. Even though I am guarded just a little so she doesn't get sick of me (since we've seen each other non-stop it seems), I figured it lined up for a reason and I took it as an opportunity to get closer to winning her heart. Crazy to hear, but I have this goal to be the respectful man I've always aspired to be and win this girl's heart. And its not just to test my abilities so as to gain the title of Rennaissance Man Of The Year 2009, it is this stirring feeling inside that draws me to her; to think about her nonstop, to feel the touch of her lips upon mine when we aren't even near, to want to give her more of me. For the first time in a long time, I feel like my heart is wanted for capture.

We originally planned to go to one of two Disney waterparks named Typhoon Lagoon, but only because the rest of the Fultons Crab House crew already had plans to attend the other named Blizzard Beach. Jacky and I were (and kind of still are) in cognito with our newly-found affection, and didn't want the whole world to know. But something changed her mind, and we played Hide and Seek with everyone else at Blizzard Beach. We were eventually found out, but not until later.

During our time there, we had so much fun! It was an experience for us both. For her it was a new experience, riding on all of the variety of water-gushing rides in a place where laughter was not scarce. For me, it was a chance to get to better know the girl who captured my attention at work on the first day. Every single time we hang out together, I find yet another reason to stick around her. Whether it be our contagiously-shared laughter, our common ground on most of our beliefs, our inability to cease all clumsiness, or just those devilishly-wicked kisses that we take part in. We always find reasons and not excuses to see each other again and again. The feeling is electric!

We ran into everyone (everyone being the people that would tell everyone about our attraction, that is...especially this girl named Shaira) after we found our friend Jacob wandering around. That's when it was time where the feeling of this situation felt the most comfortable. I felt no pressure, Emily (although completely obliterated to the point of not remembering seeing me) and I had already talked so she was cool with it, and everyone else started to catch on to what had already been cooking. Jacky seemed a bit uneasy, but once she realized that my feelings for her were true and not temporary (that I had long since moved on and had intentions of treating her right without the bullsh*t of talking sweet words with no backup action), I believe she started getting more comfortable with it all. I realized then how serious we felt for each other, that if it were to step up another level that we both wanted to know that one was sincere about the other and that we could start forming a trust bubble around these emotions we had so quickly started to develop.

There are so many ways to say this, but I am infatuated with this beautiful girl named Jacqueline Viviana Padilla (Sepeda).

There is a desire to know that this is a real feeling with real potential and that there was no room for turning back. I knew where I stood, solid and firm on grounds of loving intentions. I was not going to face a past mistake of turning back on those personal commitments I had made with my heart and soul in returning to a love that was one-sided. I vowed never to give loving one person a third chance, because true love only deserves two and love by itself can claim two-and-a-half. The more shots you give love with one person, the more you weaken your heart, I believe. We as individuals must be strong and confident knowing what we want and what is best. Fickle are the ways of the Devil (or anything evil in the world, hence D'evil for non-believing folk...lol), and indecision a killer of passionate emotions. Who would want to be without the most amazing feeling on Earth? No drug, no achievement, no chemistry is as powerful as that of love. Its what we feed off of to be the happiest in life. And although many can be happy single, there is always some sort of love that they pour out to someone or somewhere to fill that void. However, two "in love" takes the cake, with multiple layers to dig into. As I've always said, I will never miss out on that emotion, even if it means being that one guy who chooses to live by the morals of a true Gentleman to find a real woman that can handle that. And I'll be the man that gives her the world on a platinum-molded platter (because silver is just too easy to get).

The ad would say "No longer a push-over. Twenty-three years old, the most respectful man you'll ever meet, loving, caring, strong-willed, hard-working, driven, family-oriented, ambitious, creative, supportive, giving, trustworthy, positive, detailed, funny, talented, social, tall, handsome, working on a smokin' bod in spare time (lol.), still smiles under all circumstances, one of few dreamers that remain, and soon to be very successful at such a young age (if you can believe that, you'll benefit abundantly)."