When you live your life in different locations, you don't take vacations.

I just got back from taking my nuclear family to the cruise port for their annual Holiday cruise. I skipped out this year for many reasons: thinking that I would be in Colorado with the team, saving Mom money (because she funds her vacations all on credit it seems), and because of delayed gratification. But I felt a sinking feeling watching them walk towards the loading dock. Typically, the sinking feeling comes when its Sunday or you just get back from your vacation and you have to go back to work the next day. But it seems that I wanted to be with them on that trip. Thoughts ran rampant through my head as to why I didn't decide to go on the cruise with them and my lovely girl. I even considered myself stupid for not doing so for a split second. But I know that I will be able to do soooo many things that I want, travel with whomever I want and fund the whole thing, never having to think about money ever again.

I had this picture of Emily and I in Japan, with beanies and scarfs on standing in the snow with the foreign signs and people in the back drop, taking one of those patented "Extend-o-arm" shots as the snowflakes rest on our noses and our smiles are wider than the Panama canal. I came back to reality, with my hands still on the steering wheel and my eyesight subconsciously focusing on the road, as the radio was playing Coldplay's "Lovers in Japan" and I realized that it was still a ways away. But when this moment does happen, I know a strong feeling of Deja Vu will overcome me and my heart will smile.

About to get ready for work to serve some salsa, chips and a smile. :)

Emily called me this morning in one of her drunken hazes as she often does when she is out of town. But there was a different tone to the conversation. I felt as if she was truly interested in telling me about her drunken Tallahassee party experience and wanted my full attention. I don't know if it was just the alcohol or the loneliness of being the only one awake at the house that she was staying at, but I was enjoying that she was enjoying my attention. And then after we parted on the phone for the first time, I woke up again to the sound of the phone vibrating and it was her again. She told me how much she missed me and wished that we were next to each other, wondering when we would see each other next (as if she didn't know). She explained that she couldn't wait to see me on Sunday. Even in the sleepy haze that I was in and the drunken state that she was in, I felt a warmth from the conversation that I hadn't felt in quite some time. It could have very well been that our minds were in other places, but it was a great feeling that I enjoyed thoroughly. I cannot wait to see her on Sunday, even though I may quite well be slightly intoxicated for a christmas party at Amigos. But I have been praying that our relationship find the very thing that ignited the flame in our love when we first met, independent of any of the intoxication and fully dependent on those valuable moments we had staring into each others eyes and endulging upon the touch of one another. There's something about the winter time that multiplies that emotion as well. Maybe it is the psychological notion that a new year is about to begin? And in the cheer of the holiday, we are made to forget about the negative of the past or current to our lives and bring out the best in one another, starting over or renewing our minds.

To be free in the mind during the holidays must be an enjoyable experience for many, but not having to work or answer to anyone and being truly free must simply be euphoric. I cannot wait to experience all of life's beauty and goodies.

***Maybe my life's purpose is to create a euphoric life for myself along with those that I love and write about my experiences to reach out to millions; to let them know that it is truly worth fighting for, this thing called freedom. Letting people know it is obtainable and real, now that's a good reason why. Forget Utopia, how about Euphoria?

Looking forward to christmas without school and more time with the ones I love, this is Spunkyitalian peacin' out.

Word.

Lol. Goofball moment.