A friend in need deserves a Corona indeed

I found an instance where I must write about something because it is truly monumental and a quite memorable occasion. So Ashley has always heard of me getting drunk or drinking and never liked the fact of it. Well, yesterday (rather the day before yesterday), she pulls a 180 on me and finally starts to see me eye to eye instead of giving me a shoulder without animation. She tells me that she wants to get drunk, or might want to get drunk to be quoting her correctly. But I instantly took that as "Ok, YOUR GETTING DRUNK!" So Emily, being the most amazing person that she is, buys us our beer for the night and makes way for Tampa to see her friends that she doesn't see very often, including HER ex Brian. Ironic huh? Both of us drank with our ex's. Anywho, we went to see Batman Begins, and things started a bit uneasy just because we hadn't seen a movie together since god knows when and I could understand the awkwardness. But my main focus was getting the two of us to be the best of friends and be more comfortable around each other. This includes the all-so-obvious focus on laughing, talking, and enjoying the other's company.
Drinking time! We get to Emily's apartment, where we decided to drink (since we are not necessarily 21 and can't get away with drinking in a bar or having an open container around a party), and I show her the place. I hoped greatly for my best friend Ashley to just lay back, relax, have a good time and not feel weird in an apartment where I "fuck {my} girlfriend just in the other room" (Ashley, The story of my life, p. 69). That quote came later...
Playing cards with a corona in our hands, lime included, we drink a bit and I am reminded that Ashley's lips don't open up to more than the size of a straw when she drinks everything (oh, and she chews anything she drinks...funny habit of her's...lol). So Ashley's sips are not as near focused as my open-throated gulps on getting drunk. The score is 3 to .5, with Josh in the lead and slurred speech on the playbook. "I bet you this hand I will win, and if i win," he says "you need to finish your beer." "You're on" she says with the bottle in hand. The hand finishes, and I come out on top with three J's to her two pair. But she slowwwwwwwly drinks her beer and doesn't even finish. Time to call in the S.W.A.T.G.D. team. because the Stupid White-girl was Attempting To Get Drunk and needed assistance since beer is piss to her, but yet she'll swallow a load of Sean's semen (or so she tells me. Alliteration? I think so!). So I call weedman Billy that I work with and ask him to help me out with some liquor, apparently that is the only thing that will work on this lightweight who is already starting to increase her communicative skills to exceed that of her normal never-say-die, never-shut-up, never-give-up personality (which is highly admirable by the way!). So we are invited to 312 to listen to the band and liquor-it up! Billy pours vodka and fruit punch, with a nice percentage in it to get her lips buzzing. But I am no where near satisfied since I remain 2.5 beers in front still. I wanted to lose this battle, and I was determined to do so.
So drinky drinky she did, slowly tho. I get her to take a shot of tequila with me. Shit, I took one too! But that upped the stakes a bit. Now the numbers flip and the score resides at 2 to 4, her ad. Time to play dirty. We were offered a shot of 153 proof Diesel, as strong as it sounds. Ashley didn't want it. Fine then! I'll put more vodka in your drink! "Trust me though," I said to her subconsciously, "I promise you won't regret it!" She continued to drink her drink as I continued to remind her about it so she wouldn't forget it. She noticed the extra kick, but it did not phase the two of us. Especially me who decided, that if she was going to sip like a pidgeon all night, I would strengthen my chances of losing as well as her drink with a shot of 153.
Well, after parading around 312 for a bit and coming on to a completely obliterated fat drunk guy named Mark with the small penis (so he says), Ashley wanted to leave. We said our goodbyes and made way to the apartment without forgetting to homey slap a black guy named Rebel (Irony? I think so!) on the way. We talked to Christy, Em's roomate, a bit and made popcorn for Ashley. I told her it was time to finish the same cup she had for like an hour now and hadn't finished. So we played cards and I got her down to 1/3 of a cup left. Not being able to recall how much I drank in relation to her, let's just say I was at about 5 points and she was about at .033 above the legal limit. One can guess where that left her...like 3 sheets to the wind and a towel on her back wanting to act like the fierce Batman we saw earlier in the theater.
I couldn't believe my objective was complete!
Pardon my listing, but she was on the floor looking for a cat that didn't exist, she smoked a cigarette for the first time, said she would smoke pot with me for the first time, ate ice cream to satisfy her drunk munchies, forgot my girlfriend's name or who she was (even though she talked to her on the phone and I told her who she was), referred to Christy as the girl "down there" while pointing of course, let 'er rip a couple of times and asked me to score it on a scale of 1 to 5 (though I was on the 1 to 10 scale...hey, I didn't say I wasn't a couple of sheets to the wind), sang every fricken song she could think of, redid the Dr. Pepper (TM) commercial for me on video, straddled a car and insisted I let her use KY jelly to lube it up, was infatuated with her boobs (as she tried to flash me at least twice from the third floor and talked about them being her entry into Sean's room), kept insisting that it was "hot in here" even though we turned the air down to "15" according to her and we were outside when she said it, could NOT walk a line to save herself and said that it was ok not to be able to as long as you were in close proximity to it, and finally denied me as her friend and considered Emily better looking than me in a picture of the two of us.
You would have had to been there to experience the type of fun that I had that night. I am so glad that Ashley finally feels comfortable around me and can only hope that this solidifies our friendship as the great keepsake that it is. It does not matter what people say about being friends after a breakup. I believe that a true friendship is special and its backbone will never falter...you just sometimes have to go back to the blueprints and build it from the great structure that it came from. Sure there may be a couple of shortcomings, but ultimately that friend will always be there for you to make you smile irregardless of time, location, and circumstance. And it doesn't matter if you cannot see each other for a day or a month. When the two of you get together, its just like you left off from yesterday and can have the best of memories no matter what.
My feel incredible right now. I have an awesome friend who can always make me smile and I am in love with a beautiful woman who makes me happy in the most undescribable ways. What else is there to life?
Thanks for being my friend...I owe you one and a million!