In a different light

Sometimes I wonder, staring aimlessly into the electronic face of my phone, if you are thinking about me. As the minutes pass and the face remains dull, I can sometimes lose myself. But usually after two have past, I move along. I almost jumped for joy when I heard "Everlong" screaming from my phone from in the other room. Could it be? Stupid me, my 10 o'clock alarm.

I won't lie and say that I don't think about her quite a bit. There are so many things that remind me of her. And its only been two days, I know, but I reminisce on the thought that every day I used to be happier than this. And it was truly because she was thinking of me and I of her. Even when she had left to have fun with her friends, I was still bursting with joy as I felt the love from distances afar. Now I don't know where love stands; behind me, hidden under a notion of confusion and fear, or too far in front of me without visibility. I was never fearful of anything until I left her. Now I ponder if I could have done anything...maybe proven myself.

Did I do something wrong? Were you bored with me? Did you really feel confined with me, because I knew my goal was to never let you miss out on what you wanted to do. I never held you back, I think. I hope. I used to be so confident, now I don't even know what I was for you. What I am.

It makes it hard sometimes because I have you but I don't. Isn't that the most ironic sentence you can think of? Makes me laugh sometimes. I enjoy every second spent with you, but it ends later after you have gone and the thought of you thinking of someone else clouds my mind. It is then quickly diminished, but repeats throughout the day. That's kinda why I am glad we are such good friends. When you return, I cannot wait to hear about the details of your weekend. I pray that you will never hold back on any as this "connection" is what holds us together.

How often do you think of me? Like in a ratio, can you describe what others get from you in relation to me, thoughtwise? Lol. You're in the financial field, use your calculator and count throughout the day. Just kidding of course.

But most of all, I hope that I get to date you, to rediscover you in a different light. I hope that you hold the same excitement for our encounters when we haven't seen each other in a couple of days or weeks. I always want to think I mean that much to you, and I wish that I didn't need constant reminder. I wish that everytime you saw me that there would be some sort of look, some welcoming and loving glance that says it all.

It's not so much sharing the sexual with someone else, its the feelings of yours that I feel will float. Its thinking that you could look at someone else and hold them like you used to with me. I want to be more than any of these guys will ever be, cause I know that I am...just nice to know. I just need to know that...for me, myself and my broken heart. And if you tell me...if you could do that...thus the happiness is restored in every day...Ill be free once more.

I hope that you find yourself. I hope that one day you can appreciate everything I think about you, do for you, wish for you and experience for you and then still want more and more of me. When that happens, I think that you and I could make a beautiful life, an exciting life, fun and laughter every fucking second of the day. Promise. Swear. On my life. I'll always treat you like a pretty pretty princess. I'll never lie to you and I'll NEVER ever touch another pair of lips but yours, along with each and every square inch of your beautiful body. I'll always surprise you, split the chores evenly, take you out and spoil you. I'll never be jealous EVER, because I will always know you are thinking of me, and would tell me if you weren't. I'll never ever ever forget how much I love you and never let your forget it either, as soon as you let me. You will always have it made, and you'll always brag about how wonderful I am, knowing that I am doing the same with my coworkers and friends. In a nutshell, I'll give you the moon, the stars, all the planets and even the most obscure corners of the universe...and then you'll know euphoria.