Longview. A new view.

As kids, we have dreams. There are never any ends to them, no limits to how high we can fly, or how big of a castle we can build to sit on our rightful thrones as king of LEGO Land. People seem to have lost that vision, often looking through the lenses shaded with societal standards and responsibilities. But the sight of these such expectations are a matter of perspective. For example, one may believe that everyday may be his last and is glad to have a wonderful family, friends and the ability to do good for other people. Self-worth. The majority, however, sees a world burdened with financial debt, emotional insecurity, and the lack of future goals. I retract that; the lack of the proper vehicle to attain future goals. Then before you know it, you are 65 years old with a pot belly retiring from your desk job having done the same thing for almost 40 yrs. And somehow social security seems like nothing compared to the paycheck you had labored for all those plentiful years. No longer can an occupation be professed with passion unless the infatuation with money is thrown out the window. What happened to the land of opportunity, where freedom rang louder than the bells of the NY Stock Exchange?

Just a little insight as to where my mind has been for the past couple of weeks. I'm happier than I've been in quite so many months. I've learned some things about myself and structured them with confidence to walk through my days without confusion. I know what I want, how I am going to get it, and who I want to share it with. The only institutions that serve as the burden stand as school and work. But school is a necessary back up plan in my mind. And work the only means to finance my free spirit. I have a fairly good-paying job, I guess you could say. I like the people and the interaction with customers. It also keeps my options open to scouting sharp new business partners. LOL. Call me 007.

I decided to move in with Emily into her new place. There are many reasons why, but the most important is that amazing connection that has not ceased to exist. We've been through hell and back, as she would say, but we are back. And there are still some trust issues for her to work out, and that's just fine with me. Her new place has a master bedroom that screams out my name (and will yell out Josh in many other spots within the house...hehe). The house is gorgeous and warm. With enough space for 5 people and a rent that is quite reasonable, it seems as the best alternative to spending no money where I live now. I love my grandmother, but her lifestyle is not the way I would ever choose to live. Ridden with faint smells of smoke and pet piss I am, quite frankly, sick of it. Em and I are going to build a business and rebuild a relationship together, and this provides the best environment for us to do so. I'm still in love with her, and I am forced (tied down with chains) to be around her most of the time because of it. Living in two places isn't cutting it and is practically inconvenient to have stuff in two different places. And their is a useful community center there that has a good FREE gym, pool, QI room (lol) and sophisticated environment. And Avalon Park area is the modern Pleasantville so there is plenty of people to meet and new places to explore.

Let it be known, though, that I have become more open with my life and am no longer afraid to associate with whomever and to do whatever makes me happy. Because my relationship is the number one source of happiness, it will also be the number one source of strength, trust and confidence from now on. The truth is etched on the tombstone filled with the past mistakes, lies, and emotional deceit. It reads "A love stands strong above weak soil that requires no attention, no mending, no shovel to excavate nor hands to cultivate. Only a seed need be planted to bloom from the past a magnificent rose of scarlet red for the future."

We all make mistakes. Not only small, but often big. The judge of how revolting the mistake can be depends on who chooses to judge. We are all vulnerable to that judgment. So I say, tread softly in life when walking in or along other people's pathways. Although we are only human, I feel it is important not to lead people in their own journeys, but step out of their way to find your own path. Following them will also do no good. And as they continue on without, you will choose to stand still or proceed, as it often occurs. Such is life. The best choice is to tie your shoelaces, prepare yourself emotionally/mentally for the long journey ahead, and keep on moving. You might be surprised that along the road, paths not yet tread will cross once again. And you will find yourself a partner to walk by once more. Only God's map of winding roads can show who will stumble next across your avenue. But it's your choice to let them.